In the Strength of the Lord

I had a very humbling experience this week. On Wednesday night during New Beginnings some of the things my Bishop said really struck home with me. He was talking about how difficult his calling is. Then after we had a meeting with the Stake YW presidency and the YW pres was talking about inviting the spirit into our lives and how it is something we have to do - the Lord won't force it upon us. It was all I could do to not completely break down right then and waited until I got in the car....thank goodness.

The thing is my life is crazy right now - Todd is gone 5 days a week, I work full-time, I have 4 kids 8 and under & I'm in the YW presidency. That being said - I've been using all of this as an excuse to do the bare minimum in everything in my life right now. I do what's right - we have FHE almost every week, I read scriptures with my kids and say prayers with them, I try to never miss church or YW's. However, my heart just hasn't been in it. I do it out of obedience instead of desire and love. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I have been relying on my own strength instead of turning to the Lord. And right now in my life I need him more than I ever have before.

Well that night I finally humbled myself had a long talk with my Heavenly Father and figured out a few ways I can do more without adding more time to an already full schedule. One of them was that I downloaded the Book of Mormon onto my phone so I can listen to it on my way to work in the mornings. Then today when I got in my car I couldn't remember exactly where I was but knew I was in Alma so I started with Alma 26. Here are a few of the verses:

12Yea, I know that I am ^anothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will ^bnot boast of myself, but I will ^cboast of my God, for in his ^dstrength I can do all ^ethings; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

37Now my brethren, we see that God is ^amindful of every ^bpeople, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

Those 2 verses were just for me. Sometimes I wonder why I am so dang stubborn and why it takes me so long to realize that I'm not alone and the Lord knows exactly what I am going through. I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who knows me and loves me. I am so thankful He is patient and forgiving and occasionally gives me a quick kick in the rear so I can keep moving in the right direction.